Friday, October 12, 2012

Photographic-Miracle-Worker

Here’s a cool story for you. So this sweet girl, Anna, was in my life group at church for several years.  You can’t imagine how incredibly talented she is– maker of jewelry & clothing, she paints, she draws AND she’s a crackin’ photographer to boot - creativity abounds!  Well, as sweet girls tend to do, she went and grew into a wonderful young person.  She’s in her junior year at O’More College of Design (fancy, huh!) pursuing her degree in fashion design and making the world just a little bit more pretty every day.  Naturally, when the time came for KB & I to have our pictures taken for our adoption profile our sweet Anna happily obliged. 












To see some of Anna’s work go HERE.  To say hello to our photographic-miracle-worker go HERE.  We love you, Anna!


Much love, 

Annie & KB

Say what you mean to say


KB and I have been attending an adoptive parent’s class at our agency the past few weeks.  It’s been so wonderful to connect with other couples who are on the same journey to parenthood.  It may be difficult to believe or understand this but, at times in this process we’ve felt alone. Very alone.  Hear me – that’s not meant to be a poor reflection on the amazing love and support our friends and family continually pour out to us. It simply is what it is.  This class has been such an answer to prayer. The families we’ve met all have similar hopes and fears.  Many have been through incredibly difficult circumstances in their pursuit of parenthood. It’s an honor to sit shoulder to shoulder with them each week – the walking wounded.  What a beautiful reminder of how our can God bring joy out of pain! 

We’ve been learning a lot – some information is new and some is a reinforcement of things we’ve read, heard, etc.  One specific topic that’s stood out to me is language.  Positive Adoption Language is a tool we’ve been given to help clear up common misconceptions about adoption.  I know what you’re thinking: good grief, MORE PC language!  I agree that we are inundated with mountains of ‘best practices’ when it comes to how we converse.  Yes, at times it’s really annoying.  We all want to speak without fear that we will be misunderstood, misinterpreted, labeled as close-minded or worse.   

Like it or not, the words we choose can have a huge effect on others. Personally, I think it has most significance where children are concerned. We are all guilty of speaking without thinking (I might have a gold medal in this event).  With a little education, I believe a few minor changes can be made in our language choices that will be hugely beneficial.  Check out this list, y’all.  Who would want anyone to refer to their child, or any child, using the terms on the right? NO ONE.

Positive Language
Negative Language
Birthparent
Real parent
Biological parent
Natural parent
Birth child
Own child
Born to unmarried parents
Illegitimate
Terminate parental rights
Give up
Make an adoption plan
Give away
To parent
To keep
Biological or birthfather
Real father
Parent
Adoptive parent
Child placed for adoption
An unwanted child
Court termination
Child taken away
Child with special needs
Handicapped child
Was adopted
Is adopted




















*For a more extensive list, check out the Adoptive Families Magazine website, they have a great PDF with additional info.

A few of these terms are specifically ‘post adoption’.  For example: we are currently potential adoptive parents, but once we adopt we will be parents, period.  What a beautiful word - parents!  


Much love, 

Annie & KB

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Prayer & Shakespeare


Since we made our big announcement, many of you have been asking how you can help us during this process.  Here are a few ways you can get involved:

1. Pray - I've said it before and I'll say it again - prayer is truly one of the most valuable gifts you can give us.  We have walked with friends on their adoption journey and now that we are finding our way on this road I can absolutely confirm that prayer is a tremendous gift.  We are so humbled and grateful when hear you’ve prayed for us.

Specifically, please pray for:

Strength & Patience
Pray that the Lord will strengthen our hearts for whatever lies ahead. Help us to know that even through delays and disappointments, the right time & child are out there.

Wisdom & Discernment
So that we may have confirmation of the decisions we will need to make.

The Birth Family
Pray for protection.  Pray for the choices they are making.  Pray that they too will have confirmation and peace in the decisions they are making.

2.  Listen - This is going to sound border-line crazy, so bear with me. There's a chance that one of YOU could know a woman/couple who needs an adoption plan for their baby.  I know that sounds unbelievable, but you wouldn't believe the amazing stories, GOD sized stories.  My sweet friend Lindsey was approached in the grocery store by a friend of hers who heard she was thinking about adoption, and happened to know a young woman who was looking for a couple to adopt her child.  Stories like Lindsey's are the tip of the iceberg.  Maybe you know of a situation you think we need to hear about - who knows what God might do...  Keep your ears peeled!

3. Give - A lot of folks aren't comfortable with adoption fundraising. As my friend Sam says, it's the co-sleeping/breast feeding issue of the adoptive world.  Boy is she right.  Who among us likes to ask for help? Here's what I know - God has given us the desire to adopt.  We trust him that this is the way he wants to grow our family - and our trust in him extends to our finances too.  Already in this process we've been blown away with how our own money has seemed to stretch a little further (which is a whole post in itself). That said, we are planning a fundraiser later in the winter (more details to come later) and we are accepting all donations though the Rock Bridge Foundation at our church, Brentwood Baptist.


If you'd like to contribute, you can do so online - be sure to choose 'adoption' under the designation dropdown and then email
bfowler@brentwoodbaptist.com, give her your name and tell her your contribution is for the Barnett family adoption fund.  We will only see names of people who have donated, not amounts. If you’re concerned with some part of this process, please let us or Bryce know and we will make sure your donation was processed correctly.  All donations are tax deductible.

You can also mail a check with a note that says "Barnett family adoption fund" to:

Brentwood Baptist Church
Rock Bridge Foundation
Attn: Bryce Fowler
7777 Concord Road
Brentwood, TN 37027

You’ve no idea what your involvement means to us.  Kindness, in any form, is never small and certainly doesn’t go unnoticed by us.  So in closing, I’ll put my theatre degree to work and borrow these words from Shakespeare.  I think he says it best, ‘I can no other answer make, but thanks, and thanks.’


Much love, 

Annie & KB

Friday, September 14, 2012

Dear Baby Barnett




This is what kind of Mom I plan to be… just wanted to get it out there now so it’s not a shock later.  Just remember: no matter what your Dad says, Mom’s the coolest.

Much love, 

Mom

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Thank you!

Wow.  Just wow.  We are ever so grateful and humbled by the awesomely supportive and positive response we’ve received over the past 24 hours – high school & college friends, church friends and family, old friends and new, we TRULY thank you from the bottom of our hearts.  

Our cup runneth over.


Much love, 

Annie & KB

Monday, August 27, 2012

BIG news!



Many of you know that we’ve been hoping for a family of our own for quite a while now and have faced some complications along the way. We are so happy to announce that we have decided to adopt a baby!

We’ve completed our homestudy and are waiting for a birthmother to choose us to be her baby’s family.  Most likely we will bring our baby home from the hospital – although depending on the baby’s birth state we may have to stay for a week or so while the paperwork between our two states is finalized.

Our adoption will be semi-open at the very least, meaning that the birthmother will choose us and we will keep in touch through letters and photos after placement.  There’s no official ‘timeline’ in terms of a waiting period or when we can expect to bring our baby home – we could be chosen next week or it could take a year or so for the right birthmother to come along.  In the meantime, your prayers and support mean everything to us.  We are so thrilled to grow our family to three (or four?!?)We just can’t wait to introduce you all to baby Barnett.

Much love, 

Annie & KB

Friday, July 27, 2012

July Update


Dear Reader(s),

I've decided I want these email's to be as conversational as possible in the hope that you never feel like you've been duped into reading a chain email (you must forward this email to 12 of your friends by midnight or the sorting hat will place you in Slytherin!)  Plus, if I'm being honest, it makes me feel less awkward about sharing such personal details about our lives.  You, the people who love us, have questions and we WANT to answer them.  There's a fine line between sharing and over sharing when it comes to adoption.  Down the road there will be things we simply will not share to protect our child's personal story.  However, we want you all to know as much of what's really happening as possible.  I sincerely hope that doesn't scare the pants off you.  If it does I can tell you that you're not alone.  I've lost my pants on multiple occasions already in this whole process.  Maybe we can start a support group...

News items:

The last time we talked we were preparing for our individual interviews and the home study.  It was a BIG week.  Monumental really. When our case worker, Allison, visited us at home she was able to tell us that we passed! (insert a HUGE sigh of relief here....actually maybe more like multiple gasps, flapping arms and fist pumps.)  We've celebrated by not properly cleaning the house since.

What does that mean?  What happens now?  Is your house still dirty?  Well, Allison is out of town until the beginning of August, at which time she will complete the necessary paperwork.  Once we/she has the official paperwork ready we can begin applying to agencies.  In the meantime we are working on filling out grant applications and working on our profile or book.  The profile is how the birth mom/parents choose you.  It's between 10-12 pages long and includes information about us and an over abundant amount of photos of you, your family & friends, etc.  Forgive the crude analogy, but it's basically our sales pitch.  The whole thing makes me sick to my stomach (also see pants being scared off above.)  Luckily though, we have an angel friend who's agreed to design it so it looks like us and not a precious moments explosion.  Once we have our profile created, we will be ready to send our information to different agencies - God willing, we will be at that point sometime in September.



Here are a few questions we've been asked repeatedly that i thought I'd share:

Q&A:

1.  I ran into Mr./Mrs. Whatsits face the other day at church/dinner/while snorkeling and your name came up.... I wasn't sure if it was okay to tell them you guys are adopting or not?

     Go tell it on the mountain - really we don't mind who you tell.  The more the merrier.  The cool/crazy thing about domestic adoption is that you really don't know where your child could come from.  One of YOU could know someone, who knows someone, who knows a woman who needs a birth plan for her child-to-be! So, please tell people.  We're flattered that you'd want to.

2.  I noticed you haven't put anything on Facebook/Twitter/etc about the adoption.  Are you planning to?

    We go back and forth.  I think at some point we will let the cat out of the social media bag, but that would be it.  In terms of updates, we plan to stick to email and eventually I'd like to blog.  Let us get passed all the grant paperwork and then we'll blog it up!

3.  What 'kind' of baby are you hoping for?

    The church-y answer to this is "the one God wants us to have" and, at least in this case, the honest answer is exactly the same.  We didn't put a lot of parameters on it.  Our only real specification is infant.  We are happy with a boy or girl and we will happily accept any race.  That being said, according to our agency many if not most caucasian families specify they want caucasian babies, so there's a relatively high probability that our child will be a different race.

4.  Did I hear correctly that you guys are open to TWINS?  Are you both out of your minds?

    Yes and yes : )

5.  How can we help?

     As I've said in the past, the biggest thing you can do is pray.  You have no idea how honored and humbled we are when you approach us and say you've remembered us and our family in your prayers.  Truly, it's the most personal and sincere thing you have to offer.  Your prayers are just that, YOURS.  That you would use your words and time with our Redeemer - okay, I have to stop because I'm sobbing....  You honor us with your prayers.  There's nothing greater you can give, period.

6.  Are you planning to fundraise?

    Most likely.  Once we get though the grant paper work, we will begin exploring our options.  Not sure exactly what that will look like yet, but we will keep you all posted.

7.  How are you two doing with all this?  How are you really doing?

    Right now we are good, really.  Not to say that it hasn't been tough at times.  We feel like we had a rough couple of years to bring us to this point so, we choose not to dwell on the fear  that this process brings.  Instead, we try to focus on what we can DO.  We talk a lot about what we'd be doing at any given moment if the baby(s) were with us.  We talk about how amazing it will be when we can introduce our new family member(s) to all of you!  We went shopping for a car seat and stroller the other day, which was an out of body experience to say the least.  Most of all we try to constantly remind each other that our God is bigger than all of this and HE is in control.
    

So, there's the scoop for now.  If you have questions, feel free to email me.  

Thank you for loving us so well,
Annie & KB



"But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, 'You are my God.' My times are in your hands." Psalm 31:14,15

June Update


Hello Friends & Fam!


First, please allow me to say thank you to each of you for your support thus far. This may sound trite, but honestly we wouldn't have made it this far without all your prayers, encouragement, texts, phone calls, sweet notes, chats over coffee, etc. Thank you for being you!  You can't begin to imagine how blessed we feel to have SO many people who are supporting us in prayer and encouragement.  It's been extraordinary - truly. High fives all round! Our baby (or babies???) are already SO loved and lifted up in prayer by so many.  Knowing that just buoys us up to handle whatever may come our way. We are crazy excited about the future of our family, which is an answer to prayer and a blessing in and of itself.  We appreciate y'all more than you can ever know. Philippians 1:3 comes to mind - We thank our God upon every remembrance of you!


I'll be honest, I've found it difficult to keep everyone updated and end up forgetting who I've told what! So, in an effort to be as thorough as possible, I figured I'd start sending emails... DISCLAIMER: If email is not your thing and you find yourself wanting to scream or you'd rather be pinched on the underarm repeatedly than read another email - don't despair.  Call me and I'll give you the update via phone :)  My goal is to keep it short & sweet.  If I can get my act together at some point I will start a blog... stay tuned.


News items:

Many of you may already know this but, we completed and turned in the paper work portion of our home study two weeks ago.  This is COLOSSAL.  As anyone who's been through this process can tell you, there is a copious amount of paperwork.  Finishing this was such a relief and it has felt like a huge albatross was lifted off our necks, which is a major praise.


Our individual interviews are scheduled for tomorrow (Kris is @ 8am, Annie is @ 2:30.)


Allison, our caseworker, will be coming to conduct our home study on Thursday @ 1pm.


How can you help? - just keep on doing what you've already been doing so brilliantly, pray.  We covet your prayers this week.  Specifically, pray for peace in our hearts and minds.  Pray that we will remember that GOD is in control not Kris or Andrea.  Pray that everything goes smoothly.  Pray too for our case worker, Allison. She is an instrumental part in the home study process since she interviews each of us and conducts our in-home visit.


Also, if I may be so bold to ask this of you, pray for the birth mother and father who are somewhere out there. Pray that they are safe.  Pray for the choices they will be making (especially those that can/will affect the health of the baby.)  Pray that God will give them (and really ALL of us) confirmation of the decision they are making.  Most of all please pray that this entire experience will be a testimony of God's sovereignty and faithfulness - this is our ultimate goal.


We cherish each and every one of you.  Thank you for being you, dear friends.


Much love,

Annie & KB